Two blondes are on the opposite sides of a river. One yells to the other and asks how to get across to the other side. The seconds blonde mutters, “What an idiot, she is on the other side.”
Three Irish guys walk into a bar. You think the third one would have ducked
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Hello!
Now English isn’t my native language and I think I understand a lot of jokes in English, but somehow I just don’t get the jokes about Irish people… There’s another one - about the guy who named his son Pancake - I don’t get this one either… I wonder if I can get some help on this or is it a hopeless case?
Have a nice day
Paweł
We Irish are known to drink so the reader assumes the Bar is a pub. In the joke its literally a bar or a pipe. First two smack their heads on the bar, you’d think the third guy would see this and duck to avoid hitting his head as well. Its a play on words.
Here’s another I just read:
Guy walks into a bar and orders a Corona and two Hurricanes.
Bartender says that will be $20.20
Hello John!
Thanks a lot - now I see the light!
Have a nice day
Paweł
What’s red and white on the outside, and gray on the inside?
[*-)]
Campbell’s cream of elephant soup.
LOL. Here’s another one.
Two Irish guys walk out of a bar.
What?! It could happen!
I’m sorry, there’s a separate thread for “What’s cookin’…”
Like Pawell english isn´t my native language and Finnish jokes are hard to translate , but let´s try.
Little bit back ground first: Here in Finland we have a national hobby: to insult Swedes. Norwegians have same hobby. And poor swedes don´t know who should they insult.
"How you sink a Swedish submarine?
Send a diver to knock the door."
"How you keep Swede busy for days?
Give him a paper wich says “turn” on both sides."
"How you sink a Swedish ship?
Launch it."
"A Finn, a Norwegian and a Swede compete who can stay longest time in skunk´s nest. First went the Norwegian. He came out after ten seconds and said: “YAK! Can´t stay longer there!”
Next went the Finn. He stayed there 30 seconds and came out and said: “Oh man! That was enough for me!”
And last went the Swede. In five seconds skunk came out and said: “(put suitable word here)!! WHAT A SMELL!!!”
An old one…
What’s black and white, black and white, black and white… and rolls downhill?
Two penquins fighting over a snowman.
eehhhh…
Never knew that about the Swedes lol.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Keavdog… That has to be the most creative…and funny things I’ve read all day.
Ha, ya. I love that one. Not mine so I can’t take credit
That was great, but could he sing?
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God gosh that’s awful…
I wish I’d come up with it…
Lol! Yeah Galactica is where the F-16 got the nickname ‘Viper’…
Personally I think it’s way better than ‘X-Wing’… [;)]
The best yet![t$t]
When the F-16 showed up there were several calls to rename it from Fighting Falcon to Viper, but they were rejected Several years later, it looks like they decided to let it go. Not all aircraft retained their official names, Warthog over Thunderbolt II, H-43 went from Huskie to Pedro, and the list goes on.
This is true - early morning, summer’s day, lying in bed, sort of fuzzy half-awake, pleasant feeling. Other half suddenly insults me for no reason - “chicken legs”, she says. I retaliate with “fish face”. “No”, she says, “we forgot to take the chicken legs out of the freezer”. We both cried laughing…
Everyone sit back with a glass of vodka or a plate of water, Monty Python is here to amuse us with a nostalgic trip to the olde model shoppe:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=usrl2FUWhEE
I think it most appropriate to kick off Bish’s Messerschmitt GB.
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