I had a colonoscopy last Thursday and everything is just hunky-dory.
I had everyone in the proceedure room in stitches.
Me - “Hey doc, is this my final colonoscopy based upon may age.”
Doc - “This is your fourth one. How old are you?”
Me - “I’ll be 73 in July.”
Doc -“Maybe just one more.”
Nurse - “73!!! I thought you were 50!”
Doc - “Did you say 50? You’ll need at lest three more!”
Me to the nurse - “Thanks for nothing. You’re fired.”
Everyone in the room starts laughing.
Me - “Hey doc, you should be playing Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb”.”
Doc - “Why is that?”
Me - “The first verse goes like this, “Hello, hello, hello, is there anybody in there”?”
The entire room errupts in laughter. The anesthesiologist is laughing so hard that tears are running down her cheeks.
Me - “Let’s get this show on the road. Slip me the juice” I fall into a deep slumber as I watch the milky white liquid run down the IV . I felt nothing and I have no memory of the experience. Of course, the previous “prep-day” was another story.
The last one I had 2 years ago, I actually remember toward the end of the procedure, and the video monitor was right in front of me. I came out of the anesthesia singing the Oompa Loompa song from Willy Wonka. There was definitely laughter in the room as I became fully conscious again. Heh…must have had something to do with the video image of the “tunnel”.
OY! Have another one coming up in about 4 months. I’m with you on the prep day beforehand. The day after is “fun” too when you finally get the release of all that gas they pump in there to open things up. It was so loud, I was just sure my neighbors could hear it. Good times.
I’m way overdue for my first one. I’m 52. My cousin just called me after his experience. The day before ritual was a disaster. When I asked him what happened his dialouge went something like this: “So I drank that devil concoction the day before. It really cleans you out. I felt a very unpleasant episode coming and ran to the master bathroom 15 feet away. Paul, it needed to be 10 feet.”
I hear that, just got the results back from mine. Now they want a colonoscopy to determine if hemorrhoids, polyps, or maybe a bleeding ulcer.
Just turned 69, and with all the other health issues, doesn’t make much difference what gets me first. Besides, normal circumstances, I just barely make it, and that’s 25’ from the chair.
“So I drank that devil concoction the day before. It really cleans you out. I felt a very unpleasant episode coming and ran to the master bathroom 15 feet away. Paul, it needed to be 10 feet.”
LOL, Paul! When I do the prep part the day before, I drink the stuff, drink the bucket of water afterward, pull a chair into the bathroom to set my laptop on for Netflix, and then settle in…its gonna be a long night. [prte]
Lurch, there wasn’t much humor in my first one either, but I already knew what the results were going to be…it was really just a formality to begin the process of determining staging (Stage 3 in my case). I was 48 at the time, and I guess the previous 26 years of sitting above L-band antennas putting out about 200 watts of microwave radiation for hours at a time while doing transponder and altimeter certifications wasn’t a good thing. These days I turn the tester on and leave the area while its working and the FAA no longer allows us to do open-air testing above field elevation, so its a quick test and then we pull the breakers. Don’t want to go through all of that again, that’s for sure. This Thursday will mark 2 years of it being in remission. [<:o)]
That is absolutely hysterical. His description of “prep-day” was insane, but true!!!
Onto a more serious note, my brother-in-law refused to have a colonoscopy. “Nobody’s going to stick a hose up my butt!” He died at the age of 58 from colon cancer that had spread to his liver and lungs. His doctor said that the cancer probably started at least eight years previous and that if my brother-in-law had had a colonoscopy when he was 50 he would still be alive today.
A colonoscopy can save your life. Don’t put it off.
Johnny K I totally agree with you about the importance of having a colonoscopy done. Had my first one done at the age of 50 and nothing showed up and then another one done at 60 last December and 11 polyps showed up. Luckily no cancer showed up but it was a pretty tense week until the news came back. Now I need to have it done every 5 years to stay on top of it. Everyone should have it done because it saves lives.
I agree Tom it does save lives. Cancer is big in my family. I have it now. I want to see my grandkids graduate college an then hopefully when it is my time to go that they would understand what is happening. Mine showed up in a blood test not a colonoscopy but cancer is cancer. I had surgery to remove it but they couldnt remove it all. Not it will be monitatoured monthly . hopefulyy it doesnt progress . If it does then more drasstic measures will need to be taken. So I do strongly suggest you get tested it does save lives.
Had my first around 50 and they removed a couple benign polyps and set me on the 3 year plan. Second showed all clear so I’m on the 5 year plan. My dr that administers the procedure is a not unattractive woman. I told my wife “some people would pay for this” [:P]
I’m in a very similar situation. Had my first bum-o-scope at 53. The doctor removed three pre-cancerous polyps and I had a follow up scope three years later. All clear. Due for my next one next year.
A very close friend of almost 40 years had a scope back in the fall and cancer was discovered in the large intestine. Further examination revealed lesions on the kidney and liver. All lesions and six inches of intestine were removed. He’s 57 and said he had no symptoms whatsoever. His prognosis is very good.
To the nay-sayers, get it done. It might save your life.
I hope this hyperlink works. If it doesn’t go to YouTube and search for Billy Connolly - colonoscopy. I peed my pants watching it.