Girlfriend hopes gone with my hobby

General Discussion General Modeling Discussion
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[U] well I was sitting and cutting parts off the trees the other day, when i realized I’m too into this hobby thing and have no romantic life whatsoever. I put down the knife and took my sleeve to my eye to dry a tear that came out

I realized more that i got into my hobby really because i’m shy and just ain’t that great with girls in the first place with my dumb looks and what not. Plus, my only career is modelling for customers where income is sucky mostly, what girl would like that?

Any of this relate to anyone here in any way? Please share–i’m not liking myself at all at the moment [st]

2

I wouldn’t sweat it. You’ll find the right girl when you least expect it

3

Don’t sweat it. Life is not about romance. TV and movies will have you believe that if you find the perfect mate your life will be complete. It’s bull. Don’t measure your life by romance–you will never be satisfied.

First, learn to love yourself and make your life meaningful on your own terms. That will make you more attractive than any physical characteristic. If modeling is your passion, don’t be ashamed. Be proud and unashamed of what makes you who you are. And above all, get help if you need it–there’s no shame in doing so.

4

I started building when I was five. All through school I only had a few friends and was constantly harrassed and bullied by my older brothers and eventually all through school until I managed to graduate.

I kept building after I got drafted, joined the Air Force, and went through the school I needed for my job. I maintained some friends at work and kept building.

One day I ran into a girl who was also in the A.F. and ran into her a couple more times. Eventually I had to tell her what I did in my spare time. She accepted practicing shoot because of my job but considered models just toys. I invited her to a club meeting or two and eventually accepted this too.

Believe me, you can’t feel as bad about yourself as I used to and I had no one to show me what to do

It takes time. Don’t push too hard, someone will turn up. I don’t know what you do in your daily life or how old you are, but it will work out.

5

dont allow the wait,to darken your soul,to dry up your hopes…just live your life,know what would make you happy,and work torwards that as a goal.

I can tell you,I did many things when I was young that I now consider to be the heighth of stupidity,marrying a stripper was one of them.

I am not saying to NOT improve your social skills,or modify your looks…just do it for you…no one else.

oh,and check back in in a few weeks or months and tell us how you met her [:)]

6

I’ll share. In my early twenties I was dating a lady and invited her over for dinner at my apartment. She took one look at the rows of tank models and practically tore my clothes off. It happens.

It’s the time investment. If she has a hobby too, sit together. If she wants your attention during the day, model at night.

Or vice versa.

7

well…Im a girl and I build models. [^o)]

If someone truly cares for you, they will care about your hobbies too. You just have to find the right person.

One of my closest friends just recently got married, and her husband is a car-guy. She couldnt care less about mopar or tourque, but she loves watching her beau light up about his passion.

Your partner might not understand your love of miniature, nor would they have to be modellers themselves; but the right parner would see your hobby as something that makes you happy. Who wouldnt want to see their loved one happy? [t$t]

8

LMAO! [bgr]

You know, my wife usually hates my modeling hobby but she actually complimented me for having “good dexterity” today while building about a million 2mm AA guns for my HMS Nelson project.

It took 17 years to get her to say something nice about my plastic toy boats but progress was made!

To the OP, something girls don’t want is a sad and depressed man. This is not a modeling problem (nobody is gonna look down on you for having a healthy hobby)… there are bigger issues you need to work on.

9

In all things, have a focus and you can’t go wrong.

10

Dont ever assume that all women think alike; and dont ever assume that all women will look down at your hobby.

Dating, Ive had my share. Ive dated both girls who do think we tinker with toys, and girls who think theyve found a keeper — a guy who would gladly stay at home than go out on the town with friends. My wife is one of the latter. She wasnt the only one who was like that. What Im saying is that theres are as much women who appreciate the hobby as those who dont.

So modeling does not mean the end of dating. But one thing I know that gets women’s ire, is a guy paying little attention to her and a lot of attention to something else. So if one were to pay too much attention to (fill in the blank — modeling, cars, fishing…) then I assure you the relation is going south.

11

all of the above, but don’t sweat it.

I’ve done a lot of stupids, don’t sweat them, learn from them.

But one of the best things you can do for yourself is self-confidence!

self-pity is not an attractive thing in anybody.

IF you think victim, it comes out as desperate, so if you start going to gym/ the mall/ shopping/ theatre group/ church in order to find sombody, you won’t.

IF you do any/all of the above because you want to/enjoy it, then that shows as well, but a new body/car/clothes/etc won’t make you happy in themselves…

So If you think there is an improvement you want to make for yourself, do it for yourself, no one else!

PS, keep up your hobby, join a hobby club in your neighbourhood, if any, and when you meet someone, if they tolerate/indulge/actively support/take part in your interests, than that’s good, but not a deal breaker.

What would be a deal breaker would be if they insist you dump old hobbies & friends. Psycho-nutter territory, there…

My partner of 8 years, tolerates/indulges/actively supports/ & sometimes takes part, in that she has been to shows with me, has won aircraft in the tombola, allows me to coincide holiday trips with history events, re-enactments, military museums, model shop visits, etc.

This works because we have a heap of related shared interests, History, castles, reenactments, etc, and I am attentive to her interests & needs, which allows me to spend brownie points on solo model show jaunts.

And as she says to her friends, Modellers know how to FIX & MAKE things, & I treat her better than any other man she has ever known. so she says I’m a keeper, lol

12

If your means of income is commercial model building, perhaps you’re not engaging with others as much as you might in a typical job, where you are in daily contact with co-workers. That is a recipe for a secluded lifestyle, for as many hours a day that you do work at it.

Time routinely spent in isolation can breed introspection, self doubt and even depression. Your sense of self worth can easily be damaged, if you allow negative thoughts to be at the head of the line during your daily activities.

Think outside of the box that you’re in, what would you really enjoy doing besides model building? Join a league of folks with a like interest, bowling, pool, darts, hiking, photography, whatever. Get out of the house regularly, make some time for yourself, be with others that have a shared interest, enjoy some time just being with them.

Lastly, perhaps the career path that you’re presently on will not afford you the income to support outside activities, like travel, dating, regular social contacts, whatever might be found outside the environment you have created for yourself at present.

Life has much to offer, it’s our responsibility to find what we want. I wish you the best at climbing out of this rut. Like Larry says, Git’r Done!

Patrick

13

The only advice I can give is get out more often rather sitting at home doing a model kit every night. Hang out with friends. Socialize.

14

I will chime in as well. For various reasons I have not met the love of my life either. I know that feeling of loneliness and its not fun. In fact, having too much alone time is what drove me back into this hobby. I am glad that I am back, but it is no substitute for human interaction.

Everyone that responded has given really great advice. From my perspective, and as being one that can relate to some of what you are going through, two of them stand out for me. Patrick stressed the importance of getting involved in things. That is critical for your well being. I can’t stress that enough. I am fortunate in that I work in an office surrounded by people. That can be good and bad, but being around others is definitely good. You must find ways to get involved in things so that you are not alone too much. Secondly, Hypertex offers some really good advice, and sound perspective that sums things up nicely. At the end of the day, what really matters, is that you love yourself first. Also, like he said, there is no shame in seeking some help. You might be able to overcome some of your shyness if you do.

Lastly, if a relationship is what you really want, never say never. There is someone out there for everyone. That is an absolute fact.

Hang in there.

15

Hopefully, when you find “the one”, she will embrace your hobby as well. Your hobby is part of who you are. I’m blessed that my wife likes attending the model events I go to - most are a several hour drive from home and require staying overnight. Only a few of the other wives or girlfriends show up at these events, and the women enjoy the model event as a social party. Those of us with wives or girlfriends attending the event are often asked “How did you get the wife/girlfriend to come here? Can she talk to myy woman?”

16

Sometimes you just meet someone by accident. I was lonely through my college years, than in my last year, a nice young lady moved into my apartment building. We said hello a few times, no big deal, but eventually we became friends and then more. This year we celebrated our 51th wedding anniversary! So you never know what fate may have in store for you. Best wishes!

17

All of my best girl friends were those that I met by chance. Going out specifically looking for girls or going on a blind date never turned out to be nothing more than one night stands. The best ones “just happen” when you are out doing just regular stuff.

18

From what I’m reading, it’s not a question of meeting the right one, but the ability to interact with women?

You will have to rid yourself of shyness, it really isn’t an attractive quality - I mean has anyone ever heard a woman say ‘my god, he is so shy, I’m so turned on!’

Well maybe there is the odd one out there. I remember quite a while back being in a exotic bar, and a dancer came and sat with my friend and I. She noticed I was shy, specially when our knees accidently bumped. That’s when she told my friend (in French, which I really wasn’t that fluent in) that she liked shy guys. I dunno, maybe it’s her fetish of some kind, but I didn’t pursue further. Not just because I was very shy back then, but she revealed they also had a bf. Yeah, really don’t want to get invloved with those type of headcases.

Anyhow, to overcome shyness, begin making eye contact with woman you come across, and saying hello. Once this becomes an easy habit, you can progress to conversations and more.

regards,

Jack

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Eharmony…

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