As the ostensible guide to a 4th grader and a 2nd grader, occasionally I am privy to the classic one-liners youngsters are wont to dispense. Lots of times, I am able to remember them and jot them down, or post for friends and family on Facebook. Today was a good one.
Every day when I walk to school to pick up my kids, I meet a group of middle-school-age boys headed the opposite direction. My kids’ school is about 1 1/2 blocks from home, and the middle school is about 7 blocks beyond that in the same direction. I guess the middle schoolers get out a little earlier than mine.
As always, today during my walk, in the distance I spot the boys. They are casually strolling along as usual and engaged in animated discussion, as usual. When they come within earshot, I witness the following emphatic oratory, given by a swarthy and short, squinty-eyed boy in a striped polo:
“Guys! Guys! Listen to me! The question of our age is, are we ever going to get girlfriends?”
Yes, young man, someday you will. You will ascend to the top of the mountain, and it will be good. She may not be a supermodel, and she will dump you for your friend there in three weeks. But for a brief, brief moment, the world will deliver its ultimate romantic bounty. That golden prize to which every subsequent conquest will seem tarnished. And you shall have glory.
There is something to be said about girls , although after raising three , I still don’t know what it is . That comment made , I do have to make this observation though . I am definitely NOT what you would call , in any sense of the word , handsome or good looking . Then or Now .
Enter my dilemna . I was lucky enough to marry two of the most beautiful women I ever laid eyes on . They got the looks too . How’d I manage that one ? 47 years with the first and 7 with the second .Go figure . I do know they are with the Angels now where they rightfully belong .
Thing is as I walk with the kids I am around , this comes up from time to time . So I was shocked to hear one 6 year old say his girl had to be Hispanic and look like Sofia Loren !
Mine just turned 18 on the 1st…still awaiting the “return”, when it all “clicks” and they realize that you really did know what the heck you were talking about, and have been right all along! Man, I can’t wait for that hug and “sorry I was such a turd”! (I’ve had a real hard time since my daughter ventured into becoming her own person…I miss her[:(])
Man do I ever hear you there Fermis! My wife and I just graduated to “idiot status” about 6 months ago and he’s only 11. He’s a great kid and all but it’s an all uphill ride to get him to not argue the point these days. BTW everything is an argument right now . lol. We love our son with all our hearts and I know he knows he’s loved but I just couldn’t help my response to my wife when she asked “What the hek is going on with him?” . I just replied and said , “Well…he just turned into a dumb for the next 9 or so years.” Something tells me we’ll get him back though. [;)]
Just wait till you get the…“Things are different now…you don’t understand”.
…Uhm…NO, not really…you aint playin nothing but re-runs kid! The only difference is that you post these fine displays of stupidity on Facebook and Twitter and whatever else. You just have more ways to get caught!!!
A couple years back, she was “going to the movies” with a friend. Something was fishy. Her “friend” didn’t even pull down into the driveway…game on!!! I followed all the way to a teen party and was standing by their car when she got out. Without a word, I just pointed back to my truck, her and her one friend hung their heads and got in. On the ride back home…“Dad…why do you have to be a ninja?”…“How did you know?”…Again, you aint playin nothin but re-runs kid!!!
Beyond college… I’ve got a university grad to prove that. She is quite intelligent, well educated, has good common sense, but Lord she does not how the world and life work sometimes… not to mention that her eduacation and reality do clash at times…
I have never had any trouble with my 20 year old daughter. She is a homebody. Doesn’t like to party. In bed by 9:00 up at 5:30 to go to the gym. I am really lucky. Now my 16 year old son is a good kid. Good grades no troublemaker. But he thinks he’s tougher them dad. He is the same size as me. I keep telling him I don’t care if your 6-6 250 I’ll still kick your a$$ hopefully
for the next 9 or so years.” Something tells me we’ll get him back though. [;)]
