Junk mail help

I recieved this in an email from a freind and though it was a neat idea to share, I hope you like

Andy Rooney’s tips for telemarketers

Three Little Words That Work !!

(1)The three little words are: “Hold On,
Please…”

Saying this, while putting down your phone and
walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would
make each telemarketing call so much more
time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a
halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company’s
“beep-beep-beep” tone, you know it’s time to go back
and hang up your handset, which has efficiently
completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate
telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls
with no one on the other end?

This is a telemarketing technique where a machine
makes phone calls and records the time of day when a
person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time
of day for a “real” sales person to call back and get
someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice
there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting
your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly
as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the
call and it kicks your number out of their system.
Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their
system any longer !!!

(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get “ads” enclosed with your phone or
utility bill, return these “ads” with your payment.
Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail
away.

When you get those “pre-approved” letters in the
mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages
and similar type junk, do not throw away the return
envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return
envelopes, right?

It costs them more than the regular 37 cents
postage “IF” and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The
postage was around 50 cents before! the last increase
and it is according to the weight. In that case, why
not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it
in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney’s (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to
American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If
you didn’t get anything else that day, then just send
them their blank application back!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure
your name isn’t on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you
want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs
them 37 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently
getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail,
but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let’s let them
know what it’s like to get lots of junk mail, and best
of all they’re paying for it…Twice!

Let’s help keep our postal service busy since they
are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business
profits, and that’s why they need to increase postage
costs again. You get the idea !

If enough people follow these tips, it will
work---- I have been doing this for years, and I get very
littlejunk mail anymore.

THIS JUST MIGHT BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT
TO FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS

Thanks for sharing Big Jake! Right about now I’m slapping my forehead " Why didn’t I think of that?!"[(-D]This really made my day.

thx thats so great info and will use it next time i get some junk mail

I have to say, I have no problem with our topic being ignored completely when the posting party is passing on such priceless wisdom. I’m like trump, Why had I never though of one of those ideas? Now, if I can just get my e-mail to stop accepting firewall, and throwing back legitimate communications from modelers and, in one case I know if, a well-known model magazine’s (not FSM, their’s get through, I guess the all do, anyway) editorial department. Between my snail mail box and my email inbox I’m being buried in crap, and deprived of information I need or want.
Tom

bwahaha

what about this? if ther is a survey, start asking if you get anything for doing it. answer: no. when they say no, say why? just keep on saying why…

NSFW: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/angryspam.html is a hilarious animation of a guy who hates ads. real funny, and so true

Oh man 1337 I havent laughed that hard in sooo long. I thank you for posting it. I listened to it like 5 times with tears streaming down my eyes man… thats great.

That guy needs serious help. [:O]
He is beyond the reaches of Prozac even. [:D]

Mike

A little off topic, but who cares. Some very good advice there mate. Now I can’t wait for a tele-marketer to call me so I can try it out. Thanks mate.

My goodness -
That guy DOES need a valium sandwich!
But I can sympathise…
And thanks, Jake - I’ll do just what you’ve suggested.

1337, thanks for posting that. That was hilarious! Usaully I just tell them FO and leave it at that but maybe I should try this guys approach instead.[(-D]

This probably should have gone in the “Odds and Ends” folder but still, I’ll have to try to remember these things! I don’t get anywhere near the number of telemarketers since I put my phone number on the “Do Not Call” registry. I first did that in California and when I moved to Arizona and got my new phone number, just about the very first call I made was to the “Do Not Call” registry.

In the old “Off Topics” folder, someone started a thread titled “Funny Things to do to Telemarketers” which was absolutely hilarious. Unfortunately, I’m sure that thread met its demise when the “Odds and Ends” folder replaced the “Off Topics” one.

I still get a lot of junk mail; at least three or four times a week I get credit card offers. Sometimes it’s not worth the trip all the way down the stairs and past the swimming pool to get to the mailboxes in my apartment complex.