Italian idiot

General Discussion FSM Ready Room
1

Hey folks

Just back from a convalescence trip to Italy and I thought that I would share with you something that happened

As most of you will know I have a major heart problem. It was badly damaged by a virus contracted in Afghanistan which means that I am medically retired from the army and due to the 85% permanent muscle damage to the heart unable to work.

I have recently had to have a hospital stay after a couple of failures of the old dicky ticker and there is nothing worse that being separated from your modelling bench and stuck in a hospital ward unable to rest and sleep properly and with some very bad food.

on release, I went to my normal doctor for some more medication and he suggested that I have a break and go somewhere nice for a week or so to get over the stress that a hospital stay causes.

I booked with a coaching holiday company I use and took myself off to Italy with suitcase, camera bag, medication and my old military dog tags on with my medical alert dogtags too.

The trip was really good with excellent weather, good food, 1 beer a day (doctors orders) and a very sneaky grappa after dinner.

On visiting the leaning tower of Pisa a local thief took a liking to my camera. It is one of the Nikon professional range, very expensive with lots of expensive lenses etc. It is also very heavy and I have a special strap which can’t be cut by a knife.

At the time the strap was not around my neck, but it was twisted around my wrist so if I did drop the camera (it is a heavy beast) it wouldn’t hit the ground.

The thief grabbed the camera strap and made off at a run, very quickly got to the end of my arm extension with my wrist and now my hand gripping the strap. at 22 stone I didn’t move. the Thief stopped dead in his tracks and as confusion and panic set in I pulled the strap out of his hand and swung the camera at head level.

The camera felled the thief and more than likely gave him a concussion and he was hauled off by two grinning Italian policemen who obviously knew him.

The camera and lens suffered absolutely no damage whatsoever, but I did have to sit down for a few minutes and use the heart spray thingy I carry.

The convalescence trip certainly has helped with my overall general health and added a bit of excitement to what is now a very quiet life.

Nothing was harmed during my trip apart from a naughty Italian who is now very tourist shy.

Later this year I am planning to visit Odessa, any tips for things to visit there???

2

Good to hear you’re OK and that the wannabe thief got what he deserved. [;)]

3

snap, I didn’t know you had a heart problem. Glad your Ok and the toe rag got his just deserts. Do you know what punishment he got.

As for Odessa, you sure that’s a good idea at the moment.

4

wow,if you were in the USA you would probably be arrested for assault,and the would be thief would be sueing you.

glad it turned out okay and you are feeling okay

5

Not too likely- most street cops enjoy the karma of a crook who chooses the wrong victim. I know that I sure do and I can not imagine any that I work with hooking anybody in similar straights. But the ambulance chasing bottom feeders, now that is another issue…

Glad to hear that it all went well for you Snap, but I gotta echo Bish about the trip to Odessa. Things in that part of the world are getting foolish again.

6

Snap, all the best to you and your family, very sorry to hear about your experience.

Terry

7

Yeah, good to hear you’re ok after all that, hopefully the thief will get some nice time in jail to re-evaluate his life.

8

Wow! Glad you’re able to stop the theft of your camera. Heh - had to laugh trying to imagine the look on the thief’s face when he was caught on an unexpected “short leash” followed by a clock to the head. Priceless…

9

Hey chaps

Thanks for the messages of support - I shall always wear it!!! :wink:

To the best of my knowledge the Unfortunate Italian will be dragged through the courts. I did make a statement to the local uniforms and if circumstances had permitted it would have given him a good kicking with my stout military walking boots. Over the 4 years since the virus struck I have had good chance to learn to listen to what the old ticker is telling me and as you can imagine it has been a long road both physically and mentally to get myself back to what now is laughingly called a “Stable Condition”.

The sudden stress and physical activity at the time made my heart suddenly say “What the F@@@ are you doing? Sit Down idiot!” It was also joined by a pain in my chest and down my left arm. Classic warning signs for me. so I sat down and used the nitro spray thingy as instructed by the doc.

As to Odessa - I have been communicating with a lovely lady there for the past year through a dating website and both of us have agreed that we have got as far as we can get through the website and before making any decision on the future of our relationship and the ability to take it further we should meet and spend some time together.

As British Visitor’s visas are like gold dust to get hold of, and to spite Putin (I think he is secretly gay) I will put my boots on the ground in Odessa to meet this lady who has captured what is left of my heart.

We have discussed at length the crisis and she feels so strongly that Russia is not welcome in the Ukraine that she is prepared to man street barricades should they cross the border. If I am there at the time then dicky ticker or not, I will be alongside her lobbing Molotov cocktails and verbally abusing the enemy in a broad Yorkshire accent or if I can get hold of a tank and a crew… even better!

Before you all ask…

Yes. She is younger than me. She knows all about my heart, PTSD etc and she still likes me for who I am and not for what I have! she is also stunningly gorgeous but I do not consider her a trophy wife/wag. To me she is very much a very caring lifetime partner.

10

As for the italian incident: good work!

As for Odessa, please look out! But on the bright side, maybe you could pick up some nice ICM or Masterbox kits!

11

Snap

No matter what happens I wish you luck as you sounds like you’ve had enough trouble in your life. Just keep your back side down and use a bit of vaseline in the Molotov’s, helps it stick better (don’t ask how I know that)

Phil

12

mix petrol and diesel. Explodes, sticks, burns like crazy and not easy to put out.

Anybody have a recipe for Greek Fire???

P mitch - you are right. Over 22 years (or so) I have been blown up, set on fire, shot more then once spent a long time stood on a mine in Bosnia, had dog turds thrown at me by children, fired on by allies and an unpleasant incident east of the wind!!!

I also had the “privilege” of leading a bayonet charge in Afghanistan. At the time it was either that or get overrun. The order to “Fix Bayonets” may not have been understood in Pashtu (or whatever it is there) but the message certainly got home with 30 troops charging out of smoke screaming their lungs out with their blood and adrenaline up!

ON the other side, I have served on Royalty protection, travelled around the world and done many parades. Military music, marches etc is top of my music listening list and certainly stirs my blood even now.

With the virus and the shrapnel injuries My lifestyle has changed completely with a swing from highly active and hectic lifestyle to slow, inactive, day to day stady as it goes. It has taken 4 years for this to happen and for me to get used to it, and a day at my workbench is now regarded as an active fun filled day, as is a day out on the motorbike somewhere!

I have, for the past week been working towards starting to airbrush. The kit I chose was miniart’s SU76M SPG as it is an inexpensive thing. the problem is that none of it goes together properly and every part needs clean up from flash.

I think that It is time to consign it to the scrapheap and cross miniart off my kit list(s)

James

13

James, I am happy to hear that you took care of business while in Italy and I wish you all the best for your trip to Odessa.

14

I know Yorkshire is rough, but didn’t think it was that bad [;)]

15

Wow, after going though all that I’d think I’d want to take some time off to relax!!!

Good luck with your lady-friend, I hope things work out. As a single guy myself the owner lady at my favorite Chinese restaurant wanted to know if she could set me up with her cousin. I said ‘sure’ until she told me she’s not Chinese/American but actually lives in China… I’ve been set up on some crazy blind dates before but never asked to fly from the US east coast halfway across the world to meet someone!

16

There are some incredibly beautiful ladies in china. They also are very dedicated to their man too.

Make it into a holiday. Go and visit China and meet up… ask for a photo first!

17

Lol, so I am tempted but I only speak about fifty words of Mandarin!!!

18

Ah… China. I’ve been wishing to go there. Where I work, Chinese language classes is offered in various elementary & high schools in my area. I’ve gotten to know most of the Chinese teachers that teach the language. Heck one even brought me some authentic homemade Chinese dumplings (made by her husband no less) that were to die for! Anyways, Chinese language and writing in Chinese is very hard to learn.

Anyways, one of the supervisors who’s in charge of Chinese language program told me she was going to China on a Business trip for a week, I jokingly begged & pleaded to come along as a “luggage carrier”. LOL!

In reality, I know my wife and son have no interest in going to China anytime soon nor in the future. If I ever have the opportunity, I’d go. I’d love to go for a month just to experience the culture, the food and the land. My top 2 places I want to visit are The Great Wall and the Terracotta Soldiers.

19

Yo !

Hey , I am right there with you on the ticker thingy ! My travels are now limited by range and cost .When the last lady in my life passed we had just returned from Sicily by way of Austria .hmm . great trip that .Good luck on your ventures and the Odessa connection .May your travel be fair and your love as strong as the granite of the earth .

20

Thanks Tankerbuilder. I love travelling Europe, but since my heart wend south I don’t really want to travel solo anymore. I want to share my discoveries and loves around Europe. English ladies don’t want to know anything if you have something wrong with you, so I cast my net further wider and I do know that when I get my boots on the ground in Odessa there is more than one lady who wants to meet me. Word has spread around there like a bushfire!

I can get a week in a very nice 4* right in the centre of Odessa including flights etc for £800. My last trip to London cost double that just for the hotel!

I think the hotel will be under siege from young single ladies!

Mwaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa